About 10 years ago a man walked into my living room and plonked a dirty black briefcase onto the middle of a pristine white sofa that I had just bought. Since he was not looking in my direction he missed my wincing and probably did not even note the tightness in my voice as I invited him to take a seat beside his briefcase. It was about 40 minutes later that I finally mentioned my reaction. As you might expect he was mortified, many times pleading absent-mindedness and stupidity. You’ll have to take my word for it when I tell you that he certainly wasn’t stupid and I didn’t altogether buy the story that he was ‘absent-minded’ either.
So what was going on?
As a salesman, there was no doubting his professionalism; he was well turned out, highly regarded by his customers and obviously extremely knowledgeable. But his boss and his HR contact in the company sensed a gap; in the brief, they struggled to put a term to it but talked at length about ignoring other people’s sensibilities: not opening doors for others, dismissing his colleague’s ideas; generally, just steaming through life like an express train hurtling down a hill, not slowing down for anything or anyone. It would be simplest to say that he was just plain rude or unthinking or loutish; yet, he was none of those. He was a really nice guy who had grown up in a working environment that allowed him to think that the niceties in business didn’t apply to him.
I remember him being astonished that people could think that he didn’t care or was hardened to those issues; he was genuinely puzzled that people could regard him as unfeeling. As far as he was concerned, he was a thoughtful, caring guy on a series of important missions. He had things to achieve in life and all he was doing was focussing on finding the quickest and most efficient route from A – B; after all, that’s what he was being paid for, wasn’t it?
As I said, he was a bright guy and he soon realised (if my memory isn’t tricking me) that every piece of behaviour had a price for someone. And that, I suppose, is what this is about. What price I am prepared to pay, in terms of effort, to make life for the people around me more civilised, more palatable – nicer? I am suggesting that whilst we don’t frequently go out of our way to make life worse for one another we don’t often take even small opportunities to make it even minutely more pleasant.
These small gestures, which can really make a difference to someone’s day, have somehow been factored out of business life as unecessary, idealistic, trivial and ‘soft’. So, if you have a moment right now for a little experiment, look around and think of something very small that you can do to make someone just a little happier. To misquote Clint – “Go on punk, make their day.”
Then post and let us all know – you may start something!